Review - The Eternal Ones by Kirsten Miller

The Eternal Ones (The Eternal Ones #1) by Kirsten Miller
Librarything / Goodreads

Genre: Paranormal Young Adult

Rating: 2 stars
Pages: 410

Summary: Haven Moore can’t control her visions of a past with a boy called Ethan, and a life in New York that ended in fiery tragedy. In our present, she designs beautiful dresses for her classmates with her best friend Beau. Dressmaking keeps her sane, since she lives with her widowed and heartbroken mother in her tyrannical grandmother’s house in Snope City, a tiny town in Tennessee. Then an impossible group of coincidences conspire to force her to flee to New York, to discover who she is, and who she was.

In New York, Haven meets Iain Morrow and is swept into an epic love affair that feels both deeply fated and terribly dangerous. Iain is suspected of murdering a rock star and Haven wonders, could he have murdered her in a past life? She visits the Ouroboros Society and discovers a murky world of reincarnation that stretches across millennia. Haven must discover the secrets hidden in her past lives, and loves, before all is lost and the cycle begins again.

Thoughts: The Eternal Ones started off extremely well. It took an inherently cheesy stereotype (lovers through time), and made it not just entertaining but believable. The author gets rid of all the far-too-convenient logistics of having visions from a past life: they don't start as a teen, but as a child; Haven doesn't hide them from her family, because they result in violent outbursts; Haven doesn't immediately think they're real, because the entire town believes she's possessed by the devil (that is, except the Penecostals up the road). It's a brilliant idea: a young girl hated by Born Again Christians who was - literally - born again.

So, yeah. Everything started off well. Sure, the main character had a tendency to change her mind every few minutes, but hey, she had a traumatic childhood.

But then she ups and moves to New York to stalk a rich playboy, and the entire novel falls into a deep, dark well of I-can't-believe-someone-wrote-this-crap terrible.

And to think, it started off so well.

The rest of the book revolves around Haven going back and forth between being completely and utterly in love with Ethan/Iain (the aforementioned playboy), and being convinced that he is a lying, murdering, cheating ass. Now, if you were to ask - say - any normal person, they would tell you that these two beliefs cannot exist simultaneously. If you believe the man you met two days before is out to kill you, then you do not decide to sleep with him "one last time". You wouldn't be convinced by a couple of well-delivered excuses and you sure as hell wouldn't stay in his house. Or, if you are certain that the world is just trying to frame the man you love for crimes he never committed, then you don't go around taking the word of a stranger over his!

Over a 20-page period, Haven went from convinced Ethan/Iain was trying to kill her, then back to believing that he was her eternal soulmate who would never lie to her, until finally deciding that, actually, she might have fallen in love with the wrong guy. Seriously? Seriously?

While Haven's flip-flopping emotions were my biggest issue with this book, there were a whole bunch of other problems in it. The underlying "mystery" was an flat as a pancake (not to mention, completely illogical), the secondary characters were 10 kinds of stereotypical, and the villain was utterly deranged (but not in that cool, Disney!villain sort of way).

Bottom line? Don't read this - the illogic will hurt your brain.

Review - Once a Witch by Carolyn MacCullough

Once a Witch (Witch #1) by Carolyn MacCullough

Librarything / Goodreads

Genre: Paranormal Young Adult (Witches)

Rating: 2 stars

Pages: 292

Summary: Tamsin Greene comes from a long line of witches, and she was supposed to be one of the most Talented among them. But Tamsin's magic never showed up. Now seventeen, Tamsin attends boarding school in Manhattan, far from her family.

But when a handsome young professor mistakes her for her very Talented sister, Tamsin agrees to find a lost family heirloom for him. The search—and the stranger—will prove to be more sinister than they first appeared, ultimately sending Tamsin on a treasure hunt through time that will unlock the secret of her true identity, unearth the sins of her family, and unleash a power so vengeful that it could destroy them all. 

Thoughts:  Is there a nice way to say mediocre?  Because, if there is, that would be how I would describe Once a Witch. I had had such high hopes for this book.  In fact, I was so convinced that I'd love it, I bought the US hardback.  Now? Well, let's just say I wish I'd waited for the paperback.

There were just too many problems with the plot - and try as I might, I couldn't overlook them. Some of these are rather hard to get into (such as WTF was with Tam's family treating her like she was useless when...), but others will be apparent after only a few chapters. For example, love interest Gabriel?  He was one of the most obvious problems.  Even though he's only been back in Tam's life for about a minute-and-a.half, they act as though they see each other constantly.  I don't mean in the kind of "our love knows no time limit" way, but in the "I know details about your life that you cannot possibly have told me" way.

See what I mean?  Plot holes really do ruin a book - it's like the author/editor is just not trying.

And then there's the supposedly-central save-the-family plot.  To call it disjointed is putting it mildly.  Gabriel and Tam were jumping through time for reasons that were never really clear - they're chasing down an artefact, then they're after her aunt, suddenly they're trying to rescue Tam's sister - oh wait... nope.  Turns out they're just in the 1930s to play dress-up. I dislike people not having a plan; I seriously dislike people time-travelling without a plan.

Bottom line?  Once a Witch is mediocre.  While it's not a complete waste of time, neither is it an enjoyable way to spend an afternoon.  I'm afraid I won't be picking up the sequel.

Review - The Thief by Megan Whalen Turner

The Thief by Megan Whalen Turner
Bookdepository / Amazon UK / Amazon US
Librarything / Goodreads

Genre: Young Adult 

Rating: 2/5 stars
Pages: 280

Summary: "I can steal anything."

After Gen's bragging lands him in the king's prison, the chances of escape look slim. Then the king's scholar, the magus, needs the thief's skill for a seemingly impossible task -- to steal a hidden treasure from another land.

To the magus, Gen is just a tool. But Gen is a trickster and a survivor with a plan of his own.

Thoughts: The Thief was an such disappointment.

Ok, ok. I know it is practically sacrilegious to criticize Megan Whalen Turner in the YA community - but I honestly didn't enjoy this book.  Despite being well crafted, I simply couldn't engage with the characters or the plot.

At heart, The Thief is a road film: an all-male cast makes their way against the odds, through dangerous, unwelcoming lands, in search of a too-good-to-be-true mythical item.  It is all rather long-winded - and frankly, quite boring.  The quest goes on pretty much as you imagine up until the last dozen pages, where we reach a rather surprising twist in the tale.  Hell, you might as well skip the middle.

Now, while I found the twist unexpected and rather good at explaining why the hell the ludicrously selfish Gen would allow himself to go along on this bizarre mission, I also had some issues with it.  The noblemen that take Gen out of prison are rather evil.  Ok, maybe not evil, but certainly selfish and egotistical.  They considered themselves above Gen because of their supposedly superior birth-right.  Gen was born scum, and he will always be scum - no matter how intelligent or talented he is.

*SPOILERS* I had thought that, at the very least, Turner was proving that Gen could be a hero despite his low-birth.  But the ending completely stripped that away!  Instead, he was a secret nobleman - which made all of his trickery against them acceptable.  Instead of threatening to kill him for his deception - they laughed it off as "a good one".  I felt like I was watching Mad Men - the black man gets fired for stealing a pencil, while the white man gets a pat on the back for so successfully tricking the company out of thousands.

I am certain that a lot of people will not notice this when they read The Thief - after all, it is fantasy and fictional universes are allowed to have as many social inequalities as they like.  However, I felt that Turner wasted an opportunity with Gen and it honestly unnerved me.  *END OF SPOILERS*

But even before the uncomfortable ending, I wasn't enjoying The Thief.  There wasn't a single character I liked, the universe was rather stale, and the writing - although perfectly fine - was not enough to keep me hooked.

Bottom line?  Decent enough, but I'd give it a miss.  Keep your money and buy a latte.

Review - Magic Under Glass by Jaclyn Dolamore

Magic Under Glass by Jaclyn Dolamore
Bookdepository / Amazon UK / Amazon US
Librarything / Goodreads

Rating: 2 stars
Pages: 240

Summary: Nimira is a music-hall performer forced to dance for pennies to an audience of leering drunks. When wealthy sorcerer Hollin Parry hires her to do a special act - singing accompaniment to an exquisite piano-playing automaton, Nimira believes it is the start of a new life. In Parry's world, however, buried secrets stir. Unsettling below-stairs rumours abound about ghosts, a mad woman roaming the halls, and of Parry's involvement in a gang of ruthless sorcerers who torture fairies for sport. When Nimira discovers the spirit of a dashing young fairy gentleman is trapped inside the automaton's stiff limbs, waiting for someone to break the curse and set him free, the two fall in love. But it is a love set against a dreadful race against time to save the entire fairy realm, which is in mortal peril.

Thoughts: I was really disappointed with Magic Under Glass. It had been on my wishlist for so long, and when I got a copy I was really eager to dive in.

There was just so much I wanted to love - an interesting, fantastical world filled with magic, faeries and complex social divisions.   Unfortunately, there is nothing here that is all that special.  The universe is basically Regency England with faery foreigners and a bit of magic thrown in for the hell of it.

And the characters? Extremely one-dimensional.  Leading lady Nimira felt more like a plot tool than an actual character - moving from scene to scene for the sake of it.  Her love interest, Erris, was as mechanical as his automaton exterior - and needless to say their "tragic" love felt forced and unrealistic.

Magic Under Glass was supposed to be a lovely wholewheat-brown-bread guaranteed good read.  But it was the literary equivalent of white bread.  Very disappointing.

Bottom line? Magic Under Glass is an old-school faery tale - lots of plot, no character.  I didn't think it was a bad book, it was a bland book.

Review - Tempted by P.C. and Kristin Cast

Tempted (House of Night, #6) by P.C. and Kristin Cast
Bookdepository / Amazon UK / Amazon US
Librarything / Goodreads

Rating: 2 stars
Pages: 336

Summary: Zoey needs a break after some serious excitement. Sadly, the House of Night school for vampyres doesn't feature breaks on its curriculum - even for a High Priestess in training and her gang. Plus juggling three guys is no stress reliever, especially when one is a sexy Warrior so into protecting Zoey that he's sensing her emotions. Wider stresses lurk too, and the dark force in Tulsa's tunnels is spreading. Could Stevie Rae be responsible for more than a group of misfit fledglings? And Aphrodite's visions warn Zoey to stay away from the immortal Kalona and his dark allure - but they also show that only Zoey can stop him. She's not exactly keen to meet up, but if Zoey doesn't go to Kalona he'll exact a fiery vengeance on those closest to her. She just has to find the courage to do what's necessary, or everything that's important to her will be destroyed.

Thoughts: Tempted was terrible.

Okay, so I don't usually expect all that much from the HoN series.  As a general rule, I find the writing pretty terrible, the characters kinda one-dimensional, and some of the plot ideas seemingly written by somebody high on E.  So why do I keep reading?  Well, I like the universe and - prior to this book - I used to like some of the characters.  Now I'm down to the universe.

Tempted was just all over the place.  We hear from 4 POVs, an unfortunate first for the series.  The Casts jump back and forth from character to character with no discernible pattern.  For example, we get a single chapter from Aphrodite (which was probably the best in the book) about half way through, and then... nothing.  That's it!  Just the one chapter.

Huh?

The Casts also successfully destroyed two of the characters I liked: Stark and Stevie Ray.  I hate it when characters lose their character because of some insane plot point.  If you have to make a character do a complete 180 to move the story along, try something else!  *shakes fist*

I'll be reading on the next book - which comes out tomorrow in the USA. But I'm definitely going to wait for the paperback.

Bottom line?  Do the world a favour, and don't let a teenager within a 100 feet of this book.  The last thing we need is for actual teens to be more like HoN!teens.

Review - Mark of the Demon (Kara Gillian, #1) by Diana Rowland

Mark of the Demon (Kara Gillian, #1) by Diana Rowland
Bookdepository / Amazon US / Amazon UK
Librarything / Goodreads

Rating: 2 stars
Pages: 370

Summary: Cop and conjurer of demons, she's a woman in danger of losing control—to a power that could kill....

Why me? Why now? That’s what Beaulac, Louisiana, detective Kara Gillian was asking herself when an angelic creature named Rhyzkahl unexpectedly appeared during a routine summoning. Kara was hoping to use her occult skills to catch a serial killer, but never had she conjured anything like this unearthly beautiful and unspeakably powerful being whose very touch set off exquisite new dimensions of pleasure. But can she enlist his aid in helping her stop a killer who’s already claimed the lives—and souls—of thirteen people? And should she? The Symbol Man is a nightmare that the city thought had ended three years ago. Now he’s back for an encore and leaving every indication on the flesh of his victims that he, too, is well versed in demonic lore.

Kara may be the only cop on Beaulac’s small force able to stop the killer, but it is her first homicide case. Yet with Rhyzkahl haunting her dreams, and a handsome yet disapproving FBI agent dogging her waking footsteps, she may be in way over her head...

Thoughts: This was not the book for me.

Although an interesting mix of paranormal and procedural crime fiction - I could not get into Mark of the Demon.  There was, literally, not a single character that I actually liked.  There was a lot of show-no-tell when it came to the heroine - we had to sit through her telling people that she "gave a shit" about the victims about 30 times... *groan*  Not to mention she was dull as hell.  Even the hero - who I  can usually appreciate in any circumstance - was pretty boring.

I suppose the ending had one hell of a twist - but, frankly, I was barely paying attention by this point.  The Louisiana setting nearly saved the book... but ultimately failed.  Despite the constant references to the heat, bugs and Katrina - I felt like this book could have been set anywhere.

Diana Rowland is not a bad writer - but I just don't think she is a writer for me.  I could, however, appreciate well the book was crafted from beginning to end.  With some writers *cough*Stephenie Meyer*cough* you can tell that they have no idea where they are going - Rowland is not one of these.

Bottom line?  This was not my kind of book.  But if you are looking for a twist on your standard crime novel, you might as well give this a shot.

Review - Moonlight (Dark Guardian, Book 1) by Rachel Hawthorne

Moonlight (Dark Guardian, Book 1) by Rachel Hawthorne
Amazon UK / Bookdepository / Librarything / Goodreads

Rating: 2/5 stars
Pages: 272

Summary: Kayla is the nature lover, the all-American beauty who can't understand why she's so drawn to distant, brooding Lucas. Adopted as a young child, she has no way of knowing that she's inherited a terrifying - and thrilling - gene that will change her life forever.

Lucas is dangerous, gorgeous . . . and a werewolf. As leader of the Dark Guardians, shape-shifters who gather deep within the state park, he has sworn to protect his pack. But when Lucas finds his true soul mate, his love could put them all in harm's way. As Lucas and Kayla struggle with their feelings for each other, a greater danger lurks: Humans have discovered the Dark Guardians and are planning their destruction. Kayla must choose between the life she knows and the love she feels certain is her destiny.

Thoughts: There was just something... wrong with this book.  There was nothing particularly bad about the writing, or even the plot - but there was just something about it that made it a rather uneventful read.  But what exactly?

When I finished it - which took a while despite being a ludicrously easy read - I finally worked out what it was: it was a Middle Grade novel with a Young Adult plot.

The writing was just slightly too simple, the cover-ups too obvious, and the emotions underdeveloped.  While this is understandable when your narrator is 12 - it is harder when she is a teen.  And when the plot involves werewolves and undying love, there is a certain amount of maturity that you expect from the writing and the characters.

Bottom line? Skip it - even if you are a die-hard YA Romance lover.  I don't plan on getting the next books - life is too short to read books you a apathetic about.